Don't Worry

...bet you were thinking I would finish with a "Be Happy". I'm not. In fact, I think I've found a better ending. "Don't Worry. Seek Christ." Now I just need someone to rewrite the song based on this new title...

Okay, getting off topic, but I just wanted to share a bit on a topic that is a daily struggle for me - worry.

On Sunday at Vintage, we continued our journey through the Sermon on the Mount. This week, we were in Matthew 6:25-34. Several times during his message, Rob encouraged us: Don't Worry. Seek Christ! These words have been in my head and on my heart since Sunday morning.

For those who know me at all, it is obvious that one of my most prominent characteristics is that I worry...about everything...all the time. I worry about whether I will be late to class. I worry about how I will do on this test or that project. I worry if Matt will like the dinner I made. I worry about my tail light being out. I also take on the worries of others. I worry if Matt is sleeping enough. I worry if my friend ever find a job. Get the picture? Basically, I spend a large portion of my time in this state of mind, constantly stressed, rarely at ease.

I was absolutely convicted when Rob shared a quote from a commentary he'd read in preparing this sermon. I'll paraphrase: In our worry, what we are really doing is dethroning God and saying that is is really us who control the future.

Wow.

Those words hit me hard. Took the wind out of me. Made me truly want to change my worrying ways. I am aware that a certain amount of caution and concern is good, but I know that my worry far surpasses a healthy level. As the text points out (in Matthew 6:25) "Is life not more than food, and the body more than clothing?". I feel like so often I worry about the food and clothing - all the little things - that are really quite significant in the grand scheme of life. And I have, in fact, been keeping all these little things (my worries) from God, refusing to surrender them, as if in my worry I could control them, as if I could fix them. It sounds so dumb. Clearly I can't control the future. Obviously I can only do so much to control my performance in school. But I've been holding on to these worries (and others) so long that I began to subconsciously convince myself that if I spent enough time fretting over things, eventually I would understand a solution or I would receive the desired outcome, simply because I cared so much. That in some way I could control things. How dumb, right? I know. It just took me a while to truly realize the depth of my worry and the truth of what my worry really does (ignores the power of God and His control and puts it in my own hands). So, now that I've realized my problem, what's next? How can I let go of this worry in a real way, not just in a lip service kind of way?

Matthew 6:33 provides me with a solution: "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you" (ESV). So, if I am truly seek Christ with all that I am and all that I have, then I won't have time to worry or be anxious about everything. If my heart and mind are focused centered on the One who controls the future, then I don't have to worry about the future so much. I am thankful for an omnipotent Lord who loves me and cares for me. I am glad to say today that I am resting in this truth. I know this won't be an easy task, especially since my worry is something I've been holding on to for a LONG time, but I am praying that I will daily surrender my worries and choose to follow Rob's advice. I encourage y'all to think about it too: Don't worry. Seek Christ.

It's Time!

No major insights today, just a couple of pics to celebrate an exciting time in NOLA - the opening of Hansen's, our favorite snow ball stand, which is only open during the summer months. There are no words to describe how refreshing and wonderful these icy treats taste on a hot afternoon. So, here's to Hansen's - the finest snow ballers in all the land.

My first flavor of the season was strawberry shortcake. Matt went for cream of coffee. Hansen's is famous for their cream flavors, and it is Matt's goal to try all of them by the end of the season.

Spring Cleaning

This week is my spring break. I am more thankful for this pause to my hectic schedule than I can express. I am so grateful to have a few days off from school and work, especially right before Easter. I'm so looking forward to the buildup this week has to offer, and anxiously awaiting the beauty of this Sunday. (For more on Holy Week, check out my friend Frankie's blog)

Yesterday, I woke up and decided to start a much-dreaded task: spring cleaning. It's not that I don't enjoy cleaning, ask any of my previous roommates. It's just that over the past few weeks (okay, months) leading up to break, with all the stress of school and busyness of life, our little apartment had gotten more than a little dirty. I wasn't even sure where to begin. After much contemplation (procrastination), I decided to tackle the kitchen first, starting with the pile of dishes in the sink, wiping down all counters, even cleaning the stove and the scrubbing the floors. Next I moved on to the bathroom and pretty much followed the same routine, cleaning all the hard surfaces and the floors. I felt a great sense of accomplishment (and exhaustion) when I completed my task. Today, I will move on to the living room/bedroom and do some major organizing. It feels wonderful to get everything put in its proper place. That way, maybe the next time Matt goes looking for his Supervised Ministry syllabus, we won't have to spend an hour going through all the piles of paper we have stacked everywhere.

I think that's the thing I love most about spring cleaning - clearing out the clutter I've gathered over these past months, wiping the dust off everything, and making it all shine.

I can't help but think sometimes that God must feel this way about us, as he clears away our clutter, wipes off this dust of ourselves, and puts us where we belong - with Him. Just wanted to share that quick thought. Now, I'm off to get my clean on.

Awakening

Over the past two weeks, spring has finally started to emerge from the depths of the cold gloomy New Orleans winter. The sun is shining more, the temperatures are becoming milder, and the flowers are beginning to bloom. It's as if everything is coming alive from the sleep of winter. I've been so excited for the change in season. My mood needed a season change. I was starting to feel as gray as the cloudy skies. I've noticed since the change in weather that I've been happier, more content about life in general.

Then, yesterday at Vintage we sang a new song called "Awakening", Chris Tomlin's new song off the Passion 2010 album. This song spoke to the way I have been feeling and has been on my heart and in my head since yesterday morning. My favorite lyrics (from the chorus):

"Like the rising sun that shines
Awake my soul, Awake my soul and sing
From the darkness comes a light
Awake my soul, Awake my soul and sing
Like the rising sun that shines
Awake my soul, Awake my soul and sing
Only You can raise a life
Awake my soul, Awake my soul and sing"

It's awesome to realize that in this same season as the earth begins its spring awakening, my spirit is beginning its Easter awakening. I am so excited to enjoy the beauty of the season for next few weeks as I prepare my heart to celebrate.

Photo of the Week

Here's a quick pic from yesterday afternoon at the park. We had a great time hanging out with friends on a beautiful Sunday afternoon.

Little Moments

For the past couple of months, it has been ridiculously cold in New Orleans. Please no comments from all our friends further north. There is no argument that is even colder where you are; it's just that New Orleanians are not at all accustomed to freezing temperatures and thus have not equipped their houses to handle sustained periods of cold. This explains the fact that in our apartment only one of our two window units supplies heat.

Tuesday of this week was a particularly cold, dreary, blustery day. Both of us spent the day out of the apartment. I was in class and working all day and Matt spent the day in the library working on a research paper. So by the time I got home on Tuesday around 9, it was pretty chilly in our place. I immediately turned on all possible warming units: the heater in the bathroom, the window unit with heat, and the stove. When Matt got home about 30 minutes later, dinner was ready and the heat was on full blast, but it was still FREEZING. We began to fix our plates and sit down at the table when Matt jokingly suggested that we eat in the bathroom, which, at that point was the warmest room in the apartment thanks to the room's size and the super-efficient heater/fan attached to the light. Despite his obvious jest and the ridiculousness of his suggestion, I took him up on the offer. We carried our dinner and 2 kitchen chairs into the bathroom and closed the door.

So there we set for the next 30 minutes, knee to knee in our tiny bathroom eating dinner, sharing stories about our day and generally enjoying the experience. When we were finished eating dinner there was a definite hint of sadness, partly because we were going to have to face the arctic temperatures in the other rooms of the apartment but mostly because our 'little moment' was over. We were about to start working on other more serious things like studying, writing papers, filling out reports.

Over the past couple of days, I've thought about our dinner on Tuesday night and how easy it would have been for us to miss that moment. I could have easily teased back with a "Yeah, right", and we would have eaten dinner quickly in the cold kitchen and hurried into the slightly less cold bedroom/living room to begin our night's work. I am so glad we didn't miss that chance to break from the drudgery of our day, and to truly connect with one another, because that little moment is a memory we will cherish forever.

So today I'm grateful for all the little moments that sneak into our days and embed themselves in our memories and make life more fun.

About that whole "In Sickness" thing...

The Bricks are back on the blog - for real this time! More on this later...

For the past 3 weeks we've been battling "the crud". Matt got sick the weekend of Mardi Gras, which drastically toned down our celebration at the end of a crazy couple of weeks. Then, in the past week, I've started feeling it: stuffy nose, coughing, etc. I mention all this not so that you can get a glimpse into our snot-filled house and pity us, but because it has been teaching me a so much about marriage - and about God.

As you might know, at our wedding Matt and I decided to write our own vows, so we didn't exactly promise to love each other "in sickness and in health", but we did promise to be there for each other during the tough times. These past couple of weeks have been tough for us. Let's face it, none of us are really at our best when we feel sick. So imagine having two sick people trying to take care of each other, all the while feeling pretty rotten themselves. Suffice it to say that we've each had our moments. But the truth and beauty in all of this is the comfort I have in knowing that Matt still loves me completely, even when I'm at my grouchy, snotty, coughing worst. Even when I am my least lovable, he has promised to stay by my side, to help me get through it.

What's even cooler is how this applies to even more than the cold we've been sharing lately. I think the truth in it is that we are both sick - all the time. We are sinful creatures, and you can't get much sicker than that. But God has led us to each other: to live together, to love each other, to encourage one another through our sickness and sinfulness. What a beautiful picture marriage is of Christ and his love for His church! Today I am so thankful for the truth that my husband and my God both promise to stand by my side, even when I am the worst version of myself.

As awesome as these lessons are, I really hope we get over this cold soon.