What I'm Thankful For: Part 2

Psalm 145:7 "They will celebrate your goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness."

So, I missed my self-imposed Thanksgiving deadline....but I am so thankful for these 3 things, that I figured better late than never.

Coffee

One of my favorite smells from childhood is the smell of Folger's brewing in my parent's kitchen. Funny, now that I'm a coffee drinker, I don't actually like the taste of Folger's, just the smell. I also remember my first trips to Starbuck's as a high schooler - just the word made me infinitely cooler (or so I thought). My favorite wedding gifts included our coffeemaker and my humongous green fiesta mugs. And now I honestly don't know what I'd do most mornings without a cup of my favorite hazlenut spice.


Indeed, coffee is one of life's greatest pleasures for me. There is something very soul soothing about a warm drink on a cold morning. As much as I enjoy the warmth and smell and the taste, though, some of my favorite coffee memories involve having heart to hearts over a cup of joe - whether at the Golden Roast on UT's campus meeting with Heather or Frankie, sitting in my parent's kitchen talking to my Mom or Nan, at Slim Goodies with Matt (best coffee in NOLA) or the Starbuck's on Maple Street venting to Shannon, I'm so grateful for all of those times, all the lessons I've learned, all the advice I've given and received. So, thank you Lord for coffee - and for talks.



Failure

Okay, this is honestly a tough subject for me. As a recovering perfectionist, acknowledging my imperfection is a daily struggle for me. There is something deep within that I have to constantly battle, telling me that anything but 'the best' (whatever that is) isn't good enough. I'm sad to say I often project my tendencies onto others as well. So wouldn't you know that God has to continually teach me that He has called me to a life surrendered to Him, not a life of perfection in my own eyes. How does he teach me this? Through failure.


Last week I received some bad news. Terrible news, actually, for this girl who tries to define her self worth based on standards of perfection. I found out that I FAILED a section of the CPA exam. Not only did I not make a perfect score. I didn't even pass! Immediately my thoughts turned to: 1. What will everyone think when they find out I'm not perfect? (as if y'all didn't already know...) 2. Since failing this test means I'm clearly unintelligent, how can I set myself apart now? 3. Am I still loveable even if I'm not the best at everything? <-- Clearly these were all rational thoughts, right? Sounds like failure is great for me! But here is why I'm thankful for failures. Because in the middle of my self-doubt, self-pity, and despair, the Lord picks me up and pulls me close and lets me know that I am good enough, not because of anything I ever did or will do or even could do, but because He says I am good enough, He sacrificed his own son to make me good enough. So, yes, I am thankful for my failures. As hard as they are and as much as they hurt, I feel them drawing me closer to my Lord, and for that, I am grateful.

Marriage (saved the best for last)

Matt and I celebrated our one year anniversary just over a week ago. We enjoyed a romantic staycation downtown capped off with a fabulous dinner at Restaurant August. He's too good to me! Over the course of the weekend we talked a lot about what we had learned during our first year, our favorite memories, etc. It was a great time to reconnect and recenter ourselves.


I share all of that to share that marriage has been a great teacher for me. I've learned more about myself through being married than I ever did through any sort of self-exploration/contemplation on my own. It seems that when you live in a confined space with another person 24 hours a day 7 days a week, your true colors can't help but show themselves (the pretty colors and the ugly ones). I've learned that I'm not as great of a communicator as I thought I was, that I don't take constructive criticism well (see #2 above), I am verrry cranky when I'm tired or hungry, I freak out randomly when things aren't clean but I'm messy in my own way, and that deep down, I'm kind of selfish. I've also learned how to take care of someone, how to fight fair, and how to compromise (he does dishes I do laundry). As I round out my thankful list for this year, I am thankful for Matt, and for marriage, and for learning and growing together.

And finally, with the month of November and Thanksgiving coming to a close and December and the season of Advent beginning, as people's minds shift from an attitude of thankfulness for the blessings already received to expectancy for the future, I'll sign off with a heart full of gratitude and hope.