Thursday, July 1, 2010

Circle Game

One of my very favorite songs from childhood is by Joni Mitchell (thanks to my dad for his great taste in music). The song is entitled "Circle Game". I'm not sure if it was popular in its day, but from my first listen, I was hooked. The song is basically the story of a child growing up from toddler years through young adulthood.

The chorus of the song says:
" And the seasons, they go 'round and 'round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on a carousel of time
We can't return, we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game."

I was back in Knoxville a couple of weeks ago, and this song seemed to be the anthem of my trip. I arrived on a Saturday, and headed to my parents' house to see my nephew and celebrate his 12th birthday. From there, I proceeded to the hospital to visit my sweet Maymee (see previous post for more info). I talked with her some, watched her sleep some, and cried a good bit. In that first day I was able to celebrate the vitality and youthful energy of my nephew and cousins and to see my grandmother struggling to continue living.

Throughout the course of my visit, I shared coffee with a dear friend whose marriage seems to be falling apart and had lunch with another friend who was asked me to stand up as a bridesmaid in her wedding. I was an emotional wreck by the end of my visit - exhausted by the constant rise and fall, surrounded by such joy and such sorrow. The thing is, I didn't realize at the time, but it was all so beautiful - even the hard parts.

With this week of experience behind me, I've been thinking a lot about life and death; beginnings and endings; my own idea of 'good' vs. 'bad' things, 'happy' vs. 'sad' events. And all of this contemplating led to me spend some time reading and praying. Today I came to the passage in Ecclesiastes 3, which states that "For everything there is a season". There is "a time to be born and a time to die"; "a time to weep and a time to laugh"; "a time to mourn and a time to dance". I'm still working through and processing this passage. For right now, however, I am finding comfort in the fact that God says that "that there is a time for everything". I know that the timing is HIS - that He is in control and that Romans 8:28 is true: He is working ALL THINGS for GOOD (not necessarily happiness, but GOOD).

So, I am going to choose to be thankful for and to see the beauty in everything because I am trusting 1) that it is in God's timing and 2) He is working through ALL of those things for the good of those who love Him.


Enough rambling for now...back to studying. CPA Exam (part 1) in approximately 4 weeks!